Have you ever wondered how horrifying it would be to lose everything you have? Wait. What is it that you have? Is it that important? What is of utmost importance to you? How many mistakes have you made? Are there any type of consequences? When do you come across said consequences?
Don't you hate such questions?
They make you think and rethink and mess up your brain so much all you want to do is sleep.
Now, let me tell you a story and ask you something a little trivial at the end.
My morning had begun. I was running 15 minutes late. I'm already aware of the honking from the traffic that is close to stationary outside.
I run outside thinking "well.. I just might make it on time if I catch that bus on the other side of the road".
I start my first struggle of the day trying to cross the road but.. I'm stopped. By a man who looks too malnutritioned to be able to stand, with tears streaming down his face..
He cries to me "The people I work for didn't pay me and I have to travel till Majestic on foot".
And in my head, all I could think is "my bus is leaving". (How your mind prioritizes things in your head).
I missed my bus.
So, I decide I'm late anyway. I should just stop worrying and listen to the man.
I listen to his story. And I can see the tears in his eyes.
But my brain, for some fucked up reason, is trained to automatically believe strangers trying to approach you on the street are liars and cheapskates. (Social rules, thanks a lot). To top that, I know I'm a terrible judge of character. I couldn't tell if those were crocodile tears or real!
I immediately apologized to him in the sweetest way I could and told him I didn't know how I could help him.
He thanked me for my time, wiped his tears and walked away.
I begin crossing the street and I reach the divider and my brain suddenly asks me, "would you giving Rs.30 kill you? you can afford it and who knows? He probably actually can't."
I do a 180° turn and search for the man. For five minutes, I searched. scanned my surroundings. Even went to the bus stop and searched.
I couldn't find him anywhere.
That's when all the guilt flooded in.
I probably made a mistake and this was one I could never forget.
So, here's the million dollar questions my heads been asking me since that day:
Why didn't I react sooner? Most people could just brush this scenario off. Why can't I? Why is this killing me so much? Were those real tears? Was I selfish? What else could I have done to help him out? Why did he pick me? Where did he go? How could he have disappeared?
All I learnt from this is that I made a huge, huge mistake and I can't keep hating myself for it.
And anyway, don't our greatest mistakes teach us the most important lessons?!
Do share your views with me. I would love to know if I'm not the only one who's gone through a similar situation.
Thank you for reading ^_^ Hope you enjoyed it :D
Don't you hate such questions?
They make you think and rethink and mess up your brain so much all you want to do is sleep.
Now, let me tell you a story and ask you something a little trivial at the end.
My morning had begun. I was running 15 minutes late. I'm already aware of the honking from the traffic that is close to stationary outside.
I run outside thinking "well.. I just might make it on time if I catch that bus on the other side of the road".
I start my first struggle of the day trying to cross the road but.. I'm stopped. By a man who looks too malnutritioned to be able to stand, with tears streaming down his face..
He cries to me "The people I work for didn't pay me and I have to travel till Majestic on foot".
And in my head, all I could think is "my bus is leaving". (How your mind prioritizes things in your head).
I missed my bus.
So, I decide I'm late anyway. I should just stop worrying and listen to the man.
I listen to his story. And I can see the tears in his eyes.
But my brain, for some fucked up reason, is trained to automatically believe strangers trying to approach you on the street are liars and cheapskates. (Social rules, thanks a lot). To top that, I know I'm a terrible judge of character. I couldn't tell if those were crocodile tears or real!
I immediately apologized to him in the sweetest way I could and told him I didn't know how I could help him.
He thanked me for my time, wiped his tears and walked away.
I begin crossing the street and I reach the divider and my brain suddenly asks me, "would you giving Rs.30 kill you? you can afford it and who knows? He probably actually can't."
I do a 180° turn and search for the man. For five minutes, I searched. scanned my surroundings. Even went to the bus stop and searched.
I couldn't find him anywhere.
That's when all the guilt flooded in.
I probably made a mistake and this was one I could never forget.
So, here's the million dollar questions my heads been asking me since that day:
Why didn't I react sooner? Most people could just brush this scenario off. Why can't I? Why is this killing me so much? Were those real tears? Was I selfish? What else could I have done to help him out? Why did he pick me? Where did he go? How could he have disappeared?
All I learnt from this is that I made a huge, huge mistake and I can't keep hating myself for it.
And anyway, don't our greatest mistakes teach us the most important lessons?!
Do share your views with me. I would love to know if I'm not the only one who's gone through a similar situation.
Thank you for reading ^_^ Hope you enjoyed it :D
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