Writing in a diary.

That sounds strenuous for most people because that means actually putting words to every thing that we feel, our struggles and failures and accepting ourselves for all the crap that makes us, Us! If that didn't stop people, then the fear of someone else reading their diary sure did!

There are a few of those who do get over that fear thanks to their undying love for paper, pencil and words. Maintaining a diary for them is a piece of cake. Literally! Writing about the mess in their life becomes so much easier than communicating the same with other human beings.
And why wouldn't it be? Their diary doesn't ask questions, doesn't judge them, form biased opinions or force them! It's their world and the diary becomes whatever they want it to be.

I am that person. Always was and always will be. If I wanted to thank someone, I'd write to them. If I wanted to apologize, I'd write. For every uncomfortable conversation, I'd have a letter in a matter of minutes because words on paper made more sense than the words that came out of my mouth. 

The biggest con for this method of communication was that writing had reduced my social abilities to a ginormous solid Anda! Which, not to anyone's surprise, isn't the greatest thing! My number of friends was in single digits, my relationship with my family was strained and I couldn't say "Hi" to another person without a good amount of rehearsal!

I had to change that and as I gradually changed from a quiet person to a social person, my writing went from essays to poetry to occasional small paragraphs. I realized I couldn't maintain a diary with all the other things I wanted to do; so I made a calculated decision to quit writing. But as it turns out, quitting isn't easy and the more I think about not writing, the more I feel inclined to. 

Anyway, I do plan on sticking to my decision but I have to pour the words somewhere and that somewhere right now seems to be my blog. (Six years with a diary is a long time and old habits die hard; I still draft my posts on paper! )